Busy Dads - Build A Quality Relationship With Your Kids In Just Five Minutes A Night

Spend some quality time with your children when you put them to bed at night. Even if you don’t put them to bed you could still lie down with them in their beds and just schmooze. I have been doing this with my five year old son and seven year daughter for years now and its extremely rewarding. At night after putting them down to bed, I would cuddle with them for anywhere from five to twenty minutes. I don’t do this every night, only when I have time. The earlier they go to bed the more time I would have with them. Sometimes I would just fall asleep next to them for up to an hour. It’s a great way to get a nap in the evening.

Let them ask you anything or talk about anything they want. Make it like an “ask me anything” session where they can ask you about anything no matter how silly. This is a really great way for them to get to know you as their father. My son loves to ask me about all the toys I had when I was little. My daughter asked me about all the pets I used to have, “What type of dog did you have when you were little?”. You don’t have to talk about anything really. If you kids want to just cuddle with you then that’s just as great. It can really get to be fun when your son or daughter asks you about something when you were little and you happen to have photos of what you’re talking about. Just the other day my son asked me about a couple of toys I had when I was little. Remembering that I had pictures of me with the toys I ran downstairs to get my photo album. Its amazing how things or toys in the background of a picture become the main focus of the photo.

Do this every or almost every night for just five minutes (even two minutes is something) and you’ll see the difference that it will make in both your life and your kids.

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9 Responses to “Busy Dads - Build A Quality Relationship With Your Kids In Just Five Minutes A Night”

  1. KJ Says:
    June 1st, 2008 at 12:45 pm

    This is a great article, even for busy moms. It is important to take time and just talk with kids. They have so much to say and their little personalities just shine through.

    Thanks for the tip and I am going to make an effort to add it to our daily routine.

  2. Eric Says:
    June 6th, 2008 at 4:34 am

    I’m happy you got something from this post. Maybe I should change the heading to include busy moms.

  3. James Says:
    September 20th, 2008 at 2:12 am

    Hello. How are the babies? How are you? We haven’t heard from you for a while. Please write.

  4. HowToMe Says:
    September 24th, 2008 at 2:04 pm

    one caution… My Mom used to lay down with my youngest sibling. That sibling is in college now and I can’t think of a time (since that child’s youth) when someone hasn’t been called to come over for a sleepover. I think the conditioning that my Mom started has made it difficult for that sibling to sleep in a room alone.

    If your kids are immune to that, then enjoy the warm fuzzies. Sounds like a special quiet moment for your family.

  5. Eric Says:
    October 3rd, 2008 at 6:48 am

    James,

    The babies are fine and are now 6 months old. Thanks for inquiring. I would love to write more articles but the babies and kids and many other things going on now are making it kinda of difficult to get articles out. It takes me far too long to write a simple post.

  6. Eric Says:
    October 3rd, 2008 at 6:51 am

    HowTome,

    Very good point! I wouldnt suggest doing this five minute relationship building thing with a child under five years old, otherwise exactly as you mentioned will happen. In fact, I dont do this with my three year old. He wouldnt let me leave and he would start demanding it every night. I should update the post and include your comment for people to note. Thanks for pointing that out.

  7. HL Says:
    October 27th, 2008 at 11:41 pm

    I have to agree with you. This is a wonderful idea. I used to do it, and I miss it. They got attached to grandma, so now they just want to lie with her. At first I felt freedom. Now I miss it.

  8. Morgan Stoddard Says:
    December 15th, 2009 at 8:09 pm

    I think it’s great if dads get involved with taking their children to sleep. But that 5 mins (or is it 2 mins. by the end of the articel) can in no way whatsoever be construed as constituting a quality relationship with your kids. Come on! I don’t care how busy a dad is — you don’t get off the hook by doing five minutes a day. Kids aren’t stomach crunches.

  9. Eric Says:
    December 18th, 2009 at 8:48 am

    Believe me, 5 minutes is a good start for busy dads. Many kids dont even get two minutes of personal one on one time with their fathers.

    And, I didnt say that the five minutes constitutes a quality relationship. It builds upon itself and adds up significantly. If an extremely busy dad were to do this consistently for many years it would make a world of difference in the life of his kids.

    Let me ask you, how many dads who do spend time with their kids on a daily basis actually spend one-on-one personal time with them? The five minutes of personal quality time makes a huge difference even if you arent a busy dad.

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