If You Are Aware of This Important Reality Your Perspective On Parenting and Kids Will Forever Change

Kids will be adults for most of their lives and the way you speak with them and how you treat them now will affect your relationship with them when they are older.

This is an obvious point but many parents are simply not aware of it. When we look at our children, we see children. However, if you look at your kids and realize that in about ten to fifteen years they will be adults, your perspective on parenting should be forever different.

As the new school year is off to a fresh start, some of us parents are looking at our kids and thinking about how they are growing up so fast. My daughter just started the first grade and the first day of school was pretty emotional for us especially for my wife.

That experience reminded me of my desire to write this post. Almost everyday, for over a year now, I think about how my relationship with my kids today will affect my relationship with them when they are adults.

Think about it. If a person is around thirty years old when he/she has a child then that child will already be in his/her twenties by the time the parent is in his/her fifties. When you turn seventy, your kids will be in their forties. And by the time a person is eighty years old, their grandchildren are no longer children either.

Your son or daughter will be children for what, fifteen years. That’s really nothing in a lifetime. It goes by so fast. If you think back to when you were a kid how well do you remember the things you did with your parents when you were five to ten years old? Think about what stands out in those years when you were a kid. You might remember some of the places you went to or the fun things you did but its all really just one big blur. How about the relationship you had with your parents? How was it? Are you close with your parents today? If you think about your relationship with your parents today, now that you and they are so much older, would it have been better if it was strong when you were just a kid? I know that my relationship with my parents would have been better if it was strong when I was a kid. Yeah I remember doing fun things with my dad and going on great trips but the friendship and closeness were missing.

Think of it as an investment. Just as we are already planning and investing for our retirement, we should be investing in our relationship with our kids while they are still young.

This is important with other kids besides your own. Your son’s friends may only be five years old today but you should respect them. As you develop the relationship with your kids develop one with the kids in your neighborhood as well. Don’t be foolish and dismiss them just because they are kids. Kids will remember how you treated them when they were young. They will grow up fast and become adults before you know it and you’ll be happy that you treated them properly.

Believe me. You’ll be sixty before you know it and if you don’t develop a loving relationship based on trust and respect now you’ll regret it later when your children are older and almost never call except for the holidays.

This post was submitted to the September 24 edition of the Carnival of Family Life hosted over at Mom On Wheels.

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4 Responses

  1. This is SO true and SO hard to remember. I recently realized I was treating my child ‘as a kid’ because I didn’t want to play dolls with her. I mean, it’s REALLY boring. But I do lots of boring things to maintain other relationships. Why did I think I could just ignore her needs?

    I also realized that when she asked me to play, she wasn’t seeking to be entertained. She wanted to bond with me, because playing pretend is just as bonding for her as talking is to me.

  2. Eric says:

    Hi Loraine,

    I am really happy you shared that experience with everyone. You bring up a good point with the whole bonding experience. Very interesting perspective.

    If you go on the path of thought that everything your kid wants to do with you is either boring or just “not you” then you start dismissing almost every activity as such.

  3. kailani says:

    I really do try to treat my girls with respect and love. I hope that one day when they’re older, they’ll treat me the same way.

    Thank you for joining us at the Carnival of Family Life.

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